What does it mean? As a partner do you know what your position is and what is expected of you?

Men! Be informed that your presence in the birthing room is so vital! I always say to my couples how important it is that they work together, and how important particularly that they sync. I show them how to do a penguin wobble together, and speak about the importance of touch, cuddle, eye contact and closeness and how they support the oxytocin flow which is very important! 

So, to then stumble upon an article from a neurological point of view that confirms this is so reassuring! 

The studies found that interpersonal synchronization could help to decrease pain. 

''Fathers-to-be, take note: You may be more useful in the labor and delivery room than you realize. That’s one takeaway from a study released last week found that when an empathetic partner holds the hand of a woman in pain, their heart and respiratory rates sync and her pain dissipates''. In the study they also found that; when couples synced physiologically to some degree just sitting together. But when she was subjected to pain and he couldn’t touch her, that synchronization was severed. When he was allowed to hold her hand, their rates fell into sync again and her pain decreased. Further reading on the study can be found here:

During a birth preparation session with this loved up couple; Kenyan Singer Wendy Kimani and her husband; Marvin, we tried a few hand grabs, and true to the study, every grip had a different feel for her and him as well, and then there was one that really assured her that he was present, it was solid, strong and assuring. This couple was very attached through the pregnancy, birth and life after. When you read their birth story and see the pictures, they speak volumes, they tell what transpired and then you see the perfect example of a birth partner. When Marvin stayed calm, Wendy was calmer. The energies connect and feed from each other.

In the hospital two weeks ago, I attended a birth in Bronovo - my backup Doula Nancy Hart managed to capture the couple in the same moment and then you see how the picture reflects its importance, through the picture you see, you could hear a pin drop! She (Hanna) said she absolutely couldn't have gone through the whole process without him present. She knew that with him around she could concur anything through the process. And in return her husband Jack said ' I wouldn't have missed this for nothing in this world! I felt engaged and more involved, now I can look my son and really feel I was a part of his birth. Nothing beats that feeling when your breathing together, when I stop her in her panics and bring her back on the path of trust and confidence and when we exclaim together when he emerged! 

The back of my neck went cold when he explained to me what meeting before and preparing and then to put to practice the exercises and touch made him feel. He felt in the know. He knew confidently what he was doing. He knew how much pressure to put on when he was massaging her, he knew when she wanted him in her face and when to be gone too haha. Couples working in sync with each other, sometimes in words and other times just gestures.. MAJIC!