The importance of finding your tribe, the village

I am a Doula who supports Single mothers-to-be.  as well as  family units. I help you navigate the system so that you feel in control of the decisions you make for your birth and afterwards. I guide you through the process and enlighten you on the little things you may have overlooked. Everywhere we have Single Expats going through the process alone. Please don't, Please reach out!

Asking for help as a woman is not a sign of failure or weakness. Women circles have been going for years! Back in September 2016 I was privilledged to attend the meeting of European Doula Network in Barcelona. There were many Doulas than i anticipated i was going to meet. Almost every country represented apart from Africa, but i represented both the Netherlands AND Kenya my native country

During one of the lectures, Dr Lakigomagi, an Obstetrician from the UK came to lecture on the importance of togetherneess, women circles, the impact and need to lessen stress for both mother and child. The impact of the 'village' and how important it is to keep women circles going. Her words were; When women are supoorted, great thinsg happen. Even with the least information, they make it go a long way than if the same group of women sat in a class and listened to a lecture.

I will touch on my own culture and experince growing up. Back in Kenya where i am from, my mum started a women's group, what we call 'merry-go-round'. Women meet monthly with an amount, the whole collection is handed to one person and the following month the same happens till everyone has had their turn. What that has done is, those women who were outcasted after their husbands passed on, those women who lost everything due to domestic violence or whatever trauma were able to build their lives back. How did that happen? Well! They once decided that instead of pocketting the whole lot in one go and go pay their debts which will be around for a long time by the way, they agreed on an amount to part with monthly and opened an account to deposit the money. This way when the amount accumulated they were allowed to take small loans which they then invested in their small businesses individually and together. It meant children were educated. Mothers took charge

So Dr Lokamage's description on the need for wome ncircles was not only information i agreed on wholeheartedly, i was pleased the 'village' was still supported and its impact reiterated There are many women who feel ok to be alone, but when children are involved, even for your own wellbeing, it does take the village!  Its nice to meet with other mothers, maybe not going through the same journey as such but women who can appreciate and relate to some of your struggles, decisions, joy